Marriage is a wonderful adventure. The person with whom you have decided to bond for life is never the same. There was a very interesting movie a few years ago. 50 times the first kiss. A brilliant comedy of what only Americans can do. The movie is cute though nothing to say. The interesting thing, which made me think, was the basic idea of the film, that the loved one should be conquered every day. Of course it’s an exaggeration, a cinematic gimmick, but it hides a truth. We are never the same, day after day who we are and how we relate to other people evolves and is influenced by so many factors. Probably in the short term you don’t realize it, but if today I look back and look at who I was on the wedding day, I can only see that I am a very different person, and the same goes for my bride. The relationship is not a straight and stumbled road, where you can distract yourself and operate the autopilot, but it is more like a wire on which to walk with the constant danger of falling. It is exactly like a thread, and we the balancers who, day after day, step by step, must rediscover the center of gravity with small adjustments now to the right and now to the left. Over time you get used to walking on a wire, it is easier to understand in advance any dangers and gusts of wind that can make the path more unstable, but you should never lower your attention thinking you possess the art of walking on the rope or, without realizing it, you find yourself without support and with your butt on the ground. What do I mean by this picture? That marriage is wonderful precisely because we don’t own it. Our relationship must be constantly adjusted and rebalanced because it changes, just as we change. We are used to noticing the physical changes that with the passage of years are more and more evident, but also our way of relating, of showing love and tenderness, of being newlyweds changes with the passage of time. What allows us not to fall is our ability to find ourselves and to accept this challenge every day, this to fall asleep in the evening and wake us up different, an imperceptible diversity, but that as the days go by, if we are not able to find the centre of gravity, it could prove uncontrollable and would no longer allow us to recognize in our bride the one we wanted to marry.
I’ll leave you with a quote from another movie, Casomai:
And how do you imagine the love between a man and a woman?
You know what? I often beg myself watching television when there are pairs of artistic skaters on the ice… I’m fascinated… So unstable on those blades, on that slippery ground… and yet they give me an idea of great stability… they’re elegant… give the idea of a perfect understanding… Do you understand what I mean?
Antonio and Luisa